Jay remembered his The Wanted bandmate Tom Parker as a ‘massive life force’
Jay McGuiness has remembered his The Wanted bandmate Tom Parker as a “massive life force” as he opened up about his concerntfor his loved ones when it comes to showing his grief in public.
Tom tragically died in 2022 at the age of 33, 17 months after announcing his diagnosis with an inoperable brain tumour.
Jay, who won Strictly Come Dancing in 2015, is among seven well-known personalities featured in BBC Two’s Pilgrimage: The Road Through The Alps, which sees celebrities of differing faiths and beliefs walk together through the Austrian and Swiss Alps.
The 34-year-old reflects on Parker’s death in the reality programme and told Good Morning Britain that grieving publicly can come with feelings of “shame”.
“Especially with grief, there’s often quite a lot of shame grieving publicly, and it’s easy to feel like ‘I don’t want to cry’ and all that sort of thing, and ‘I hate the idea of crying'”, he said.
He continued: “I also am considering Tom’s family and friends, wife and kids, every time I’m talking about him, whether I’m asked about him or not, that’s a reminder about something that could be painful, that could be on the wrong day for them to hear about.
“I want people to remember that, man, he was a massive life force. He was hilarious.” He added: “I want people to remember the good as well as just remember how things ended.”
Speaking about Pilgrimage: The Road Through The Alps, McGuiness said he was “never convinced that anyone knows” where people go after they die and added: “I think maybe we don’t find out until you’re gone.”
Tom disclosed in October 2020 that he had been diagnosed with stage four glioblastoma and had begun radiotherapy and chemotherapy. He married his wife Kelsey in 2018, and the couple had two children, Aurelia and Bodhi.
In BBC Two’s Pilgrimage, Jay breaks down in tears during a conversation with Helen Lederer as they speak about Tom’s death. The star took a break from filming after telling Helen: “I need to have a little cry in the toilet.”
“I cried more than I’ve ever cried,” he said afterwards, adding that he has spoken to the late bandmate in the past. “It’s a conversation which [will] always be coloured by the question of, like, ‘Can you even hear this?’ While he was sick, I definitely had moments that I would say I prayed, and then when he passed away I sort of felt like, ‘I wonder if he can hear me now.’
“I felt that did really sort of ignite a lot of questions that I’ve left unanswered, and in some ways, I know I’m searching for that catharsis. I’m really open to the idea there’s something out there.”
He continued: “”If we do all go into some global consciousness… God or whatever, then Tom would be there, and I’d be able to speak to him, but whether he can speak back is another question.”
